صفحة 812 من 2288

Annushka went out, but Anna did not begin dressing, and sat in

the same position, her head and hands hanging listlessly, and

every now and then she shivered all over, seemed as though she

would make some gesture, utter some word, and sank back into

lifelessness again. She repeated continually, "My God! my God!"

But neither "God" nor "my" had any meaning to her. The idea of

seeking help in her difficulty in religion was as remote from her

as seeking help from Alexey Alexandrovitch himself, although she

had never had doubts of the faith in which she had been brought

up. She knew that the support of religion was possible only upon

condition of renouncing what made up for her the whole meaning of

life. She was not simply miserable, she began to feel alarm at

the new spiritual condition, never experienced before, in which

she found herself. She felt as though everything were beginning

to be double in her soul, just as objects sometimes appear double

to over-tired eyes.