Page 738 of 1294

"I meant to say... as I was coming here... I meant to tell you,

mother, and you, Dounia, that it would be better for us to part

for a time. I feel ill, I am not at peace.... I will come

afterwards, I will come of myself... when it's possible. I

remember you and love you.... Leave me, leave me alone. I decided

this even before... I'm absolutely resolved on it. Whatever may

come to me, whether I come to ruin or not, I want to be alone.

Forget me altogether, it's better. Don't inquire about me. When I

can, I'll come of myself or... I'll send for you. Perhaps it will

all come back, but now if you love me, give me up... else I shall

begin to hate you, I feel it.... Good-bye!"

"Good God!" cried Pulcheria Alexandrovna. Both his mother and his

sister were terribly alarmed. Razumihin was also.

"Rodya, Rodya, be reconciled with us! Let us be as before!" cried

his poor mother.

He turned slowly to the door and slowly went out of the room.

Dounia overtook him.