Pagina 179 di 1294

He was crushed and even humiliated. He could have laughed at

himself in his anger.... A dull animal rage boiled within him.

He stood hesitating in the gateway. To go into the street, to go

a walk for appearance' sake was revolting; to go back to his

room, even more revolting. "And what a chance I have lost for

ever!" he muttered, standing aimlessly in the gateway, just

opposite the porter's little dark room, which was also open.

Suddenly he started. From the porter's room, two paces away from

him, something shining under the bench to the right caught his

eye.... He looked about him--nobody. He approached the room on

tiptoe, went down two steps into it and in a faint voice called

the porter. "Yes, not at home! Somewhere near though, in the

yard, for the door is wide open." He dashed to the axe (it was an

axe) and pulled it out from under the bench, where it lay between

two chunks of wood; at once, before going out, he made it fast in

the noose, he thrust both hands into his pockets and went out of

the room; no one had noticed him! "When reason fails, the devil

helps!" he thought with a strange grin.