Strona 149 z 483

This advice, although good, was totally inapplicable to my case;

I should have been the first to hide my grief and console my

friends if remorse had not mingled its bitterness, and terror its

alarm, with my other sensations. Now I could only answer my

father with a look of despair and endeavour to hide myself from

his view.

About this time we retired to our house at Belrive. This change

was particularly agreeable to me. The shutting of the gates

regularly at ten o'clock and the impossibility of remaining on

the lake after that hour had rendered our residence within the

walls of Geneva very irksome to me. I was now free. Often, after

the rest of the family had retired for the night, I took the boat

and passed many hours upon the water. Sometimes, with my sails

set, I was carried by the wind; and sometimes, after rowing into

the middle of the lake, I left the boat to pursue its own course

and gave way to my own miserable reflections.