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She roused herself, and felt appalled at what she had been

thinking, and before going down she went into the room where the

icons hung and, her eyes fixed on the dark face of a large icon

of the Saviour lit by a lamp, she stood before it with folded

hands for a few moments. A painful doubt filled her soul. Could

the joy of love, of earthly love for a man, be for her? In her

thoughts of marriage Princess Mary dreamed of happiness and of

children, but her strongest, most deeply hidden longing was for

earthly love. The more she tried to hide this feeling from others

and even from herself, the stronger it grew. "O God," she said,

"how am I to stifle in my heart these temptations of the devil?

How am I to renounce forever these vile fancies, so as peacefully

to fulfill Thy will?" And scarcely had she put that question than

God gave her the answer in her own heart. "Desire nothing for

thyself, seek nothing, be not anxious or envious.