Страница 268 из 1118

That which she anticipated most distinctly, was external pomp and

splendour; and her fancy would often luxuriate in imaginary

scenes of grandeur, constructed out of such materials as her

memory could faintly and confusedly furnish forth, and the

descriptions of her companions supply. There were moments when

these brilliant imaginings were disturbed by the idea of

religion; but the religion which had been inculcated to the poor

girl did not proscribe pride, but, on the contrary, sanctified

it, and proposed it as a means of obtaining terrestrial felicity.

Thus despoiled of its essence, it was no longer religion, but a

phantom, which, assuming at times a power over her mind, the

unhappy girl was tormented with superstitious dread, and, filled

with a confused idea of duties, imagined her repugnance to the

cloister to be a crime, which could only be expiated by her

voluntary dedication.