Sayfa 587 / 788

"At first I thought that I had succeeded in overcoming my heart,

and I was glad of that fancied change, and-I married the first

poor girl that I met! I did evil, and how cruelly was I punished

for it! I loved her not, Thaddeus's poor mother, my most devoted

wife and the most upright soul-but I was strangling in my heart

my former love and my anger. I was like a madman; in vain I

forced myself to work at farming or at business; all was of no

avail. Possessed by the demon of vengeance, morose and

passionate, I could find no comfort in anything in the world-and

thus I passed from one sin to another; I began to drink.

"And so in no long time my wife died of grief, leaving me that

child; and despair consumed me!

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