Sayfa 824 / 2288

If he'd killed me, if he'd killed him, I could have borne

anything, I could have forgiven anything; but, no, he.... How was

it I didn't guess what he would do? He's doing just what's

characteristic of his mean character. He'll keep himself in the

right, while me, in my ruin, he'll drive still lower to worse

ruin yet...."

She recalled the words from the letter. "You can conjecture what

awaits you and your son...." "That's a threat to take away my

child, and most likely by their stupid law he can. But I know

very well why he says it. He doesn't believe even in my love for

my child, or he despises it (just as he always used to ridicule

it). He despises that feeling in me, but he knows that I won't

abandon my child, that I can't abandon my child, that there could

be no life for me without my child, even with him whom I love;

but that if I abandoned my child and ran away from him, I should

be acting like the most infamous, basest of women. He knows that,

and knows that I am incapable of doing that."